Also all people making documentaries, remember:
- you gotta have a clear form and function!! audiences have to know what your tryna get across!!
- hidden camera. shadow shots always bode well!! to show the harsh reality of matters etc.
- STATISTICS!!! barely any groups have them and there a must in order to make them successful!!
- a professionals point of view !!! always adds that bit of credibility !!!
My last point, theres 2 groups ive never ever ever ever ever ever ever seen soo therefore i couldn't give you any feedback.
A Rappers Ambition!
Amit, Avi, Ajitpal, Nabz
Strong points -
- As you promised Avi, you got alot more footage that you required so well done on that !!
- The group is almost always in as a group and therefore there is a good atmosphere around the group
- The effects you guys are creating or trying to create are really inventive!! the sequence with the word "suffer" looks excellent and the whole tint effect you borrowed from the get rich and die trying video looks good also!!
- Im really glad with the fact that your using successful trailers as your bench mark to borrow from
Improvements -
- I believe your still lacking footage!! ive just watched the get rich or die trying trailer for you lot and im going to base my improvements around that
- Footage needed ... of the surroundings (the streets and areas around), footage of more than just the 2 people you currently have. You need to show more characters to create enigma and make the audience want to know who all these characters are
- Possible inclusion of a female character!! in a negative role to conform to the stereotype created in this particular genre, or subvert it by givin her a positive role!!! things like this bode well in your evaluation!!!
- Your production is about a rapper !!! soo make it more credible, as in use studios if possible!! see how you have got the shots of Shiv on stage, try get one of him in the studio!!
- Gangster movies tend to promote a capitalistic society, shots of money could be used!! or you could not use money, and in your evaluation you could talk about how its not about the money, but rather about the passion in the music industry.
- Your trailer does not have a focal point, i wouldn't be able to tell what the storyline roughly will consist of. You need to give more away!! trailers are tough as you gotta be careful with what you let the audience know so ensure you have enough to show
- MAIN TARGET - get more footage, trailers are very fast paced!!! you've got very good shotsbut you need alot more as you will need to create montage sequences!! these really fast shots will only be a second long or so, but these images need to be hard hitting in order for the audience to look and want to come and watch the whole movie !!!
- 2ND MAIN TARGET - sequence your shots together, and make sure you have your soundtrack ready ASAP as that is vital, your shots have to run according to that!! and the VOICEOVER, get a script ready, know what needs to be said and record it!!!
- you also need shots of where your character is talking, like the one you got of shiv talking on the fone, you need more of him just talking to people in general!! hes your protagonist!!! you want the audience to build a sense of familiarity with him!!!
Otherwise keep up the good work you guys are doing, make sure all editing time is spent productively!! like i said to amit, ajit and nabil, analyse other trailers, borrow or subvert conventions from there!!! The best thing ive got to say is well done for your use of the editiing software, the effects you create are very good and you are using the software to its full effect which is excellent.
Weed and crime documentary
Faizul, Ramone, Moe
Strong points-
- As other mentors who have seen you might have told you, excellent opening !! seriously good use of music also and because you've sped up the whole strapping the zoot process you create the effect of the drug itself and thats what goes down in your evaluations to justify it and get the marks for !!!
- interviews are really good, you got differing points of view!!
- the captions you use to write things across look very good also !!!
Targets-
- The focus of your documentary is unclear!! as it is also meant to be about crime, you need to ensure that there is the element of crime in there and that the issue is addressed!!
- all documentaries look very professional with the use of relevant statistics, interviews and a hidden camera shot!! for the interview you could have a policeman possibly and ask him about crime and weed and things like that !!! possiby inside a police station you could have the interview!! hidden camera shot you could have of people smoking, commiting crimes and showing the harsh truth to it, creating the effect of realism as it is a contemporary issue!!!
- have a set of questions your going to ask your interviewees and make sure their relevant questions to your documentary!!
- possibly a vox pop sequence asking people about their views on crime or weed
- another possible suggestion for your hidden camera shot, you could show the effect of weed!! you could show something really negative such as someone getting really paranoid or freakishly laughing out of control, but that ultimately depends on what you want people to get from your documentary, and what you want them to think
- http://youtube.com/watch?v=7ifVvu06biY
- http://youtube.com/watch?v=i7vMqowaPig
- documentaries on weed, really good footage, maybe you could use?? or just borrow ideas!!!
Otherwise, excellent opening and do make sure the high standard that you've set carries on throughout the rest of your documentary as your looking at an excellent production at the moment!! keep it up!!!
Homophobia in west london
Alka, Sophia and one other person??
Firstly ive actually found out 3 people in your group :O ive neva actually seen the third person at editing ever!!! sorry if you have been, maybe its jus co-incidence i havent seen you!!
Strong points-
- if i had to sum up your documentary so far in one word, it would be 'excellent'! im honestly very impressed with the high level of work and commitment!! excellent footage, you also actually got a real gay guy adding huge amounts of credibility!!
- Very catchy opening, everything in time with the music and it looks very professional!!!
- good use of music
- strong sense of focus of what you look to achieve through your documentary!
- also the fonts in the "gay flag thing" colours you mentioned, excellent idea!! something that would bode exceptionally well in your evaluation!!
Targets-
- you need it to be exceptionally hard hits a homophobia is the kind of issue that many people cringe at!! hidden camera shot of possibly the gay guy crying??? or something hard hitting to make the audience feel the way you want them to, so like basically have a point you want to get across!!! although documentaries are informative, they discretely have a way of mediating the text in order to get their speicific point across!! such as micheal moore in bowling for columbine, showing the charlton heston scene last, that makes the audience think of him as a bit of a prat really!!!
- ensure your documentary is at least 6 minutes or so long, a professionals interview possibly and also statistics that are hard hitting, adds to the credibility of the text!!!
In terms of targets i cant think of anything more at the moment!! you guys are really on the right track to make something very excellent!! a really original idea also!!! plus also the level of respect towards mentors, mr babu, and the rules has been really good!! keep up all the good work!!!
Crime and drugs documentary!!
Indy, Jagtar, George and Sadoon (sorry if i got your name wrong!!)
Strong points-
- I don't really need to tell you, because i think you guys know yourself...... unbelievably good opening!! seriously brilliant!!
- excellent choice of music!!! and the shots of the drugs with the zooms and fast pace, excellent!! all you gotta write in your evaluation is how you intentionally created that effect in order to create the supposed effects of the drugs and thats justifying it nicely!! also the upbest music also creates a similar effect!!
- you guys work exceptionally hard, always productive 100% of the time!! even though your luck is disgustingly bad with the footage being deleted and all sorts, really good work!!
- the shot of the police van, very original and good!!! creates a real sense of realism!!
Targets-
- The main question ive gotta ask is that, is the opening all you've got so far? if your documentary lives up to the opening, you know your in for something special!!!
- the focus of your documentary!! whats it about ?? what point are you trying to get across to the audiece?? theres gotta be something the audience can take away from it and learn from it!! documentaries have to inform and educate audiences!!
- get statistics that are relevant about crime and drugs
- crime ?? drugs?? crime and drugs ?? which one!!! establish a clear link between the two topics if thats what you are looking to do!!!
- interviews, make sure you got a set of questions to ask! maybe even a vox pop sequence to get other people's views on drugs and crime, possibly showing their ignorance to the matter or even how society knows so much of the matter !!! interview with a policeman maybe/??
- and also you see your interview with that bitty, you could even use that as a hidden camera shot !! it'll come across as alot more hard hitting !!
- mainly though i think you guys need to show you have a focus point and a message to get across so that there is a clear structure to your documentary!!!
- possibly any stories of someone whos lost his life to drugs ??? make it hard hitting !!
My final point will only be praise for your group!! of all media productions ive seen from even previous years, your opening beats all!! please make sure the rest of your documentary lives up to the standards you've now set!!
Bollywood trailer!!
Latisha, Jaspreet, Aman
First point, aman ive barely seen you editing so make sure you come in, otherwise it'll be reflected in your grade and im sure you wouldn't want that!!
Strong points-
- Some really good shots of scenery and the aeroplane flying!! typical bollywood shots which is good!!
- if im right, latisha you got footage from india which adds real authenticity to your documentary so well done for that
- latisha, although you may not like some of the shots, your acting is actually pretty goood !! all of them shots should be used to create enigma and make audiences ask questions such as ... "why is she crying!!"
- alot of time spent editing is very productive, haven't actually seen you guys mess around alot so therefore well done!!
- good shots of surroundings, always effective in bollywood movies!!
Targets-
- In trailers, its all about the way you sequence it!! make sure you get a clear sequence, obviously it shouldn't be in order, you don't wan to give the story away completely, but enough to create enigma and make audiences want to watch the movie!!
- no offence to the guy who acted for you, but the acting just isn't believable!! audiences will catch on straight away and little things such as that don't go down well ! possibly think about re-shooting
- are you going to use a voiceover?? if yes then make sure thats ready quickly!!
- analyse other bollywood trailers !!! look at last years trailer "kabhi socha na tha" !!
- use of slow motion like when the main femlae is running, very bollywoody effect that could be used effectively !!!
- its a trailer so its gotta be based on a stroyline of a movie, make sure you have an idea what you want the storyline of the movie to be, that way your trailer will have a clearer structure!!!
Good amount of commitment being put in but think about getting the sequences put together and possibly re-shooting some scenes!! otherwise its coming across well, and looking like a proper bollywood trailer!!!
Bollywood trailer 2!!
Sabah, priyanka, madenah and one other person (sorry don't know your name!!!)
your idea of the bollywood trailer is unique, the whole from childhood to adulthood change!! but needs work on it to ensure that it is sequenced correctly!!!
Strong points-
- originality of the script!!!
- i was sceptical at first about the whole idea of wearing school bags and such, but after your explanation it shows you've thought the idea over nicely!!
- really good acting sabah and priyanka!! and that guy in your trailer also!!!
- the shot of sabah in the rain!! brilliant stuff !!!
- good use of music also !!
- the shot of that guy running looks really bollywoody romatic-fied stuff and really works well !!!
Targets-
- your idea of the transition from school kids to adulthood is original but you've gotta make sure its edited properly. you dont want it to look tacky!!!
- is there enough footage?? ensure you've got enough to work with!!
- structure?? storyboard?? whats the actual movie about??? do we understand the storyline through the trailer ?? these things are vital!!! trailers HAVE to create enigma for audiences to want to watch the movie itself !!!
- the split screen madenah was showing, good idea but has got to be used very carefuly!!
- voiceovers?? are you going to use any? if you are, then ensure you have them ready as soon as possible!!
- the MAIN TARGET im going to set you is to look at other bollywood trailers !! theres some conventions to trailers that have to be followed and there are certain shots you could almost re-create or subvert!! if you use things from other trailers, in your evaluations you can write how you used them, to what effect?? how you possibly subverted the idea/convention?? remember to do this and you could be looking at a very successful bollywood trailer !!!
Horror Trailer - Face of Fear
Rajan, Nafisa, Simmren
main issue at the moment is the footage !! you really do need alot more.
strong points-
- excellent footage, some quite scary scenes!!
- excellent acting rajan!!
- your shots create enigma!! the opening sequence and the heartbeat sequence are brilliant!!
- always in as a group, but productivity and efficiency?? hmmmmmmmmmm
- very good choice of music !! i would recommend you don't change it !!
Targets-
- Watch other trailers !!! texas chainsaw massacre, halloween, friday the 13th, scream !! etc. your trailer comes under the "slasher" genre and lucky for you guys, us yr13's are currently studying that genre !!! use what we know!!!
- what i realised is that, the killers face is barely ever showin in a trailer!! rajans your face is shown too much and that is a problem
- it looks like a short story, not a proper trailer !!! horror is about the victims and their feelings, and their story!! not the killer !! you need more shots of the vitcims to build a sense of familiarity with them !!!
- like shots of rajans shadow, are excellent!! create just the right amount of enigma !!
- voiceovers ??? if you're looking to use them, get them done quickly !!!
- and like theres no speech, not much from the victims and the killers speech needs to be heard without him being seen!! like in scream and how they use the phone!!
- setting? surroundings?? its all dark and in the same place!! films are not set all in one place, there needs to be shots of other places !!
- MAIN TARGET - watch other trailers and borrow conventions!! dont worry about sequencing and editing for now, your main objective should be to film alot more and really think about the shots you use!! try conceal the killers identity as thats what audiences want to go watch the movie for!!!
cumon guys seriously you need to take these comments on board!! you've got a lot of potential to make something very good, so dont ruin it now!!! get the footage done, analyse some trailers, get ideas from there !!! right now you haven't got enough to write in your evaluation so get more footage done !!!
Crime documentary
Lanzel, Harmeet, Saman, Noura (sorry if i spelt any names wrong!!)
Strong points-
- very strong opening sequence!! the font you use for when your write "crime" is very effective in the opening
- the zoom into the dead person is also very good !!! hard hitting and grips the audience!!
- good interviews with mr jones and the other guy in your group!!!
- statistics are very hard hitting, possibly make that sequence longer to grip the audience for longer !!!
- choice of music is really good also, links to the whole crime theme as it is steretypical to that genre
Targets-
- its gotta be at least 6 minutes long !!!
- get questions to ask people, such as "what are your views on crime?" "what is crime like in society today" "why do you feel crime rates are increasing?" (just suggestions, its up to you what you do!!!)
- whats the main focus of your documentary?? what are you trying to get across?? i think you should base it around crime in society today and how its increasing!!!
- get that hidden camera shot you want to do !!! sounds excellent!!!
- get an interview with a victim of crime !!! you could even do like a whole.... he/she is to devastated to show their face in this interview and just show a shadow even !! that would work well !! remember crime is a serious topic, its gotta be hard hitting !!!
- shoot alot more footage !!! relevant to the topic of crime !!!
- http://youtube.com/watch?v=6cmmog_ybl4 a crime doc !!!
- http://youtube.com/watch?v=wPDazGDAlDs a knife crime doc !!!
mainly you guys just need a focus point and a message your trying to get across !!! good work soo far well done !!
Sound of the underdogs!!
Vipesh, avneet, maninder, rosanne (sorry if i spelt anyones name wrongly!)
Strong points-
- original footage !! shots of people in the studio brings originaltiy, authenticity, and alot of realism !!!
- your interviews are focused, give across a message and the best and most meaningful interviews ive seen so far!!!
- great focus and a clear structure and idea!!
- you guys actually got a producer to make a beat for you!!
- at first the group was a bit split, now its looking very strong !!!
Targets-
- well you've got great amounts of footage, but you need statistics to back them up and give them credibility!!
- shots of people just singing or doing their own musical thing!!! make an interesting montage sequence out of that!! like say you have 5 singers, make all 5 of them sing the same song and integrate the scenes to create the song with many different singers!! could look excellent!! and also allows audiences to get to know the characters alot better!! builds a sense of familiarity!!
- opening sequence has got to be catchy!! make something really interesting and gripping, fast paced and linking to music!!! an upbeat track in the back also !!!
- do not use too much archive footage, make sure that most of it is your original footage!!
- my main target to you would be to construct a good opening sequence that draws the attention straight away and helps give your documentary the WOW factor !! (lol)
Music Careers Documentary:
Rupal and Karishmas group
Strong points-
- the idea of following one person in particular allows your audience to familiarise themselves with the main characters, this allows the passion shown in her music to be portrayed extremely effectively!!
- good footage of her playing instruments adds to the realism!!
- the shot of her getting shouted at by a teacher, good shot!!! shows her passion in the music!!
Targets-
- structure, make sure you have a solid structure!! so you basically know what your work is going to be about and what point you're trying to get across
- possibly interview someone in the music industry to make it alot of professional!!
- get statistics, something like what percentage of people actually make it into music industry!!
- if i remember correctly, you had a black and white shot!! which works very well but what effect do you want it to achieve with it?? you gotta be able to justify!!
- close up shots of the protagonists face!! shots her walking around maybe!! to create more familiarity
- focus of your documentary?? what do you want the audience to take away from this?? ensure you got an objective you want to get across !!
- interviews, make sure you ask good questions, different settings also !!
- have possibly an interview with your protagonist walking, so your following her and again lets the audience know the character better
- try that shot of her in her room, talking to a camera and shutting it off. like the one used in a "a womans world"!! makes your documentary much more personalied and emotional!
Action movie trailer
Aemud, Tremaine, Jordan
easily the closest group to actually finishing so well done on that !!
Strong points-
- Alot of work put in and time is spent efficiently and productively!!
- very good sequencing so far
- good shots used and alot of good effects used also !!!
- creating alot of enigma and i personally would actually want to watch this movie!! (if it were actually made into one off course!!)
- very good and committed acting!!
- 3 shots caught my eye the most and i thought they were brilliant!! ... 1) the shot of one of the characters kneeling down and then the moon disolving into the background!! excellent effect, alot can be said about it!! 2) the shot of jordan looking out of the house, shows a sense of hiding possibly, or even something else!! creates alot of enigma!! 3) the shot of tremaine on the bus!!!
- great opening sequence, allows audiences to get the background on the story !!!
Targets-
- your pretty much on track but theres a few things i think need improving
- this film really could be called "face off" because the story seems very obvious!! there is only really a minimal amount of use of other characters and maybe you should try fit others in
- it does seem like your giving away quite alot of the plot¬!!! and theres no scenes of characters talking between each other also!! you need to know the personal side of characters also!! genres are not fixed, like yours at the moment is fixed to action and slightly touches on romance!! but you could always incorporate a bit of comedy!!
- captions!! all trailers should have some sort of captions!! such as .."Stunning" The Independant!! little cut aways that prove useful!!
- one thing i actually dont understand is the costumes. tremaine wears casual clothing throughout, whereas jordan wears a suit!! if its intentional off course, then there is alot to talk about but you want to ensure you can justify that point!!
Marital rape documentary
Yasmin, Anum, Sunainah (sorry i spelt any names wrong!!)
The main problem i got at the moment with your group is the fact that you are not putting in alot of hours at the moment and therefore almost questioning the amount of commitment you guys are putting in!!! you need to ensure that you;ll have a finished piece ready!!!
Strong points-
- original idea and therefore theres alot of scope of information for it
- good opening sequences constructed!!
- good vox pops, well constructed sequence!!!
- the shadow shot you had was very good but i remember there was a slight fault in it with the cursor of a mouse being shown!! soo try re-shoot that and that would work excellently!!
Targets-
- raise the levels of productivity!!
- what else have you got besides the opening sequence so far?? i think ive seen some interviews but you gotta make sure you got a sufficient amount of footage !!
- what is the form and function of your documentary?? whats the point your trying to get across?? that marital rape is right or wrong?? you have to discuss both sides but ultimately you also gotta be able to give across your personal point of view and therefore have a slight element of bias in it to create more meaning !!!
- possibly create a character who's life you are following to allow audiences to realise the traumatising effects things like this can have!!
- get statistics about this issue so give your documentary alot more credible!! if you got real and relevant stats to back up your points, it gives your points alot more emphasis !!!
Overall i think you guys are lacking a bit of footage at the moment!! maybe you have got sufficient footage but i have not seen your group in the editing suite as much so try get the hours in and make them productive as possible !!!
Asian Invasion
Hardeep and Asa
First point, Asa you;ve gotta get more hours in and edit something otherwise it will be reflected in your grade!!! so make sure you spend editing time productively and put as much hours as you can from now, its for your own good !!
Strong points-
- greatt opening !! loooks good everytime and really good choice of music!!!
- showing a diverse culture is very good !! as in sikhs, muslims, hindus, christians!!
- one scene where you have that girl talking and asians walking in the back!! really good shot to talk about, shows the asian invasion as something that is just normal in our areas and theres alot to talk about with that scene !!!
- the idea is reallly goood as the fact that we live in southall helps alot with it pretty much being the centre of the asian invasion!!!
Targets-
- if possible try and get footage of inside a gurdwara/mosque/church/temple!! i don't know if thats offensive though so apologies if it is!!!
- experts points of view!!
- possibly think of a protagonist!!! like you could make a white person your main character and make your documentary about the asian invasion from a white persons perspective!!!
- talk to a professional to possibly look at his views on this topic and therefore get a more professional and therefore credible point of view!!!
- use stats about how many asians there are, when they came!!!
- historical facts !!! talk about when asians were first immigrating into the country and the effects that had socially, possibly even politically and economically!!!
Overall you need to just start sequencing your footage alot more clearly and ensure that you have enough to produce a documentary that is at least 7minutes or so long!!!
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