final week of editing
loadsa pressure on everyone to get it done and ready for 4pm Friday 1th April
some members are absent because of sociology revision classes, but theres two days and some groups are bang on the dot with finishing touches, a rappers ambition, pyar ki ek kahani and face of fear are some of the nearly finished ones that i've seen, but some are quite behind and are feeling the pressure.
most of them just have bits and pieces to re-shoot because of shoot issues etc, but its not that bad ! ! hopefully everything gets sorted by Friday!!!!!

Just a few notes/messages to the individual groups that i have seen:

Stranger: saw it for the first time today, very impressed! acting is really good! quite believeable. just have a few shots to re-film and they should be done just need to add finishing touches

Asian Invasion:personally i haven't seen much! so i can't really comment on it, when i checked they were putting it into sequence.

Just a game: again haven't seen much but are working at it throughout!

Herbal Remedy:

A rapper's ambition: gotta say well done! got their act together, got it in sequence have a full clear idea of what is expected and believe they can finish it by friday! guys

Sound of the underdogs: Almost there! 5 minutes, so far, but quite a few gaps i tried to help vipesh think of what to put in the gaps! don't really have anymore footage to cpature but vipesh their there is footage which is planned to be recorded! i personally think its quite late to be filming new things, but if they believe they're able to prepare their production by friday, i'm happy to push them to it!

Crime: Very good opening sequence, at first the voice over with mr Bonner seemed,... unusual, but it seems to fit in well. apart from that, i'm hoping theres more footage to be seen!

Street crime: saman showed me what they have so far and i liked it, just had minor things to change for example titles needed to be centered, and kept within the boxed frame.

Silent pain: have one interview which may be a problem but they do want to add archive footage to keep the audience engaged withint he short documentary.

Saving faith: LOVE this one! :) only because they jump around alot lol! They've gone out of their way to get the effects, sitting on a bridge! ! ! guns etc, seems quite real. good luck with the rest of it!

Face of fear: I felt they were the most prepared group and the most commited, therefore were able to finish their editing very early! ! !

Pyar ki ek kahani: another committed group, Latisha and jas have been in everytime i was present, and have worked to make a 3 minute trailer, it shows how much they had to work with, but can be a downfall because it is just slightly longer than a usual trailer! but they can cut this down, i've suggested they cut down the scene in the pink saree, because it makes the trailer quite long but they need to find a way to not give away the whole story!


Apart from this: I WANT TO WICH EVERYONE THE BEST OF LUCK IN FINISHING THEIR PRODUCTIONS AND THEIR EVALUATIONS, I HOPE YOU ALL GET A'S lol woo! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
good luck guys have fun! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! :)

z a i n a b

Naziya’s Feedback 20th March

‘Just the Game’ Documentary’
WWW
· It is a very unique idea, something new which no one has done in GHS. I also believe it is a contemporary issue which you can tackle.
· Your montage at the beginning is brilliant, it is very eye-catching. This is good because it gains the audience’s attention.
· Us of archive image is also good as it shows you have done background research.
· Your interviews are good, the shots are done are good, also the fact that the interviewee is not looking straight at the camera.
EBI
· Try to speed up the montage slightly with upbeat music.
· You need to now use your music it is very crucial that you do, as it is your main object of the production and all your shots need to flow well.
· Re-shoot some of your shots in the interview, because they are many types of shoot. It needs to flow continuously. Try to have the same shot throughout.
· In the interview try to have titles coming out, and images of what the interviewee is saying, because the audience does not want to see the interviews face all the time.
· Get other people’s view on ‘games’, do this as a vox pop and make it speedy
· In one of your interview try to get someone playing playstaion X box at the back.

Rupal’s Group (Documentary on Music career)
· First of all you need to get rid of the credits that you have added in at the beginning of the production. This should always be at the end, once your production is completed.
· Leave a gap at the beginning for your institution.
· The title of your documentary name needs to be more ‘in the audiences face’. Make it stand out more.
· In your vox pop get titles coming out to the screen, as this will attract the audience and make it look creative.
· Overall, keep working on it, and it is looking really good.

Anum’s Yasmin and Sunania’s group (Documentary on Rape) (sorry if I have spelt anyone’s name wrong)
WWW
· I think the idea that you are focusing on is really good. It is a topic that needs to be talked in the society today
· The other day (Tue) we done a shot of the victim. This was really good as we got a brilliant silhouette of your friend, and it creates enigma for the audience. Also it is following the conventions of a documentary.
· I like the idea of the split screen, it shows a mixture of people’s views and opinions towards the issue.
I haven’t seen much of your footage, so maybe if you show me what you have got i can probably give you more ideas. Overall, it’s looking good so keep up the hard work.

Asain Invasion (Hardeep and Asa)
· I really like the whole idea of tour montage it is looking eye catching and brilliant. The music goes well with it, it is very upbeat and attracts the TA immediately (even though ASA accused me of ruining the music) L
· I like the idea of the black and white effect on peoples view, or I think it was when you were representing Britain before. It shows how people used to view stuff back in the days.
· You are focusing on both historical and contemporary issues such as ‘Amritsar Massacre’ Aamir Khan, Cricket and so on. These are the issues that attract the TA so keep up.
· I think your documentary so far is looking good. I haven’t seen much, but try to get as much as you can done.

Kuch to Hua hai (Bollywood Trailer 1) (Saba, Priyanka, Madina and Natasha)
· You were told to re-shoot a lot of your footage. I saw what you done to Priyanka, it is looking AMAZING. I hope you have captured and shot other footage which we had discussed amongst us.
· Remember to make it more ‘Bollywood’, and less Western. We know that you want to subvert the genre, but Bollywood is always colourful. J
· The music you chose was EXCELLENT. It’s not only new and successful but runs well with you footage.
· By the end of the week try to get some footage all gathered so we can have a look. Also it would be nice if all the group members came, so we can all get together and discuss what we can do next.
· It’s looking good, huge amount of improvement keep up the hard work.

Pyar ki Ek Kahani (Bollywood trailer 2)
· Your opening is really good. It’s very ‘Bollywood’ and attracts your TA well. Well done.
· You need to re shoot a few shot. We discussed the males role (I forgot his name lol) get a shot of him, showing his personality off, how he is.
· You need to research your music. I think the one i had gave you fits in well. But I also have got a few more.
· It was good to see all the group members together. Try to come together so we can negotiate more ideas
· I have just seen this much, hope your getting on well. Also i like the effects you have used. (dissolves)
· Keep up the work. I think both teams are doing well.

Amits, Ajitpal, Avi and Nabil’s group.
· A lot of improvement is seen, which is excellent. You have got brilliant shots and are working hard, and playing around with different effects.
· I haven’t seen a lot, but your ideas are really good.
· Nabil you need to put your input into this, and get off the internet. Gives your thoughts on what sort of effect will look best.
· I tip to all the group members, your working good compared to last time, it will be best if you had or made a story board it will save you a lot of time.
· Try to come all together as a group so you all can say what you think.

xxNaziyaXx

ATHARS FEEDBACK PART 2 - DETAILED ANALYSIS

The first points i gotta make are for everyone!! you guys have barely any time left now so get on with the work and make your editing sessions productive!!! you got next week, and 4 days in the easter holiday, not the tuesday apparently as ive heard!!!

Also all people making documentaries, remember:

1. you gotta have a clear form and function!! audiences have to know what your tryna get across!!


2. hidden camera. shadow shots always bode well!! to show the harsh reality of matters etc.


3. STATISTICS!!! barely any groups have them and there a must in order to make them successful!!


4. a professionals point of view !!! always adds that bit of credibility !!!

My last point, theres 2 groups ive never ever ever ever ever ever ever seen soo therefore i couldn't give you any feedback.

A Rappers Ambition!
Amit, Avi, Ajitpal, Nabz

Strong points -

• As you promised Avi, you got alot more footage that you required so well done on that !!


• The group is almost always in as a group and therefore there is a good atmosphere around the group
  


• The effects you guys are creating or trying to create are really inventive!! the sequence with the word "suffer" looks excellent and the whole tint effect you borrowed from the get rich and die trying video looks good also!!


• Im really glad with the fact that your using successful trailers as your bench mark to borrow from

Improvements -

• I believe your still lacking footage!! ive just watched the get rich or die trying trailer for you lot and im going to base my improvements around that


• Footage needed ... of the surroundings (the streets and areas around), footage of more than just the 2 people you currently have. You need to show more characters to create enigma and make the audience want to know who all these characters are


• Possible inclusion of a female character!! in a negative role to conform to the stereotype created in this particular genre, or subvert it by givin her a positive role!!! things like this bode well in your evaluation!!!


• Your production is about a rapper !!! soo make it more credible, as in use studios if possible!! see how you have got the shots of Shiv on stage, try get one of him in the studio!!


• Gangster movies tend to promote a capitalistic society, shots of money could be used!! or you could not use money, and in your evaluation you could talk about how its not about the money, but rather about the passion in the music industry.


• Your trailer does not have a focal point, i wouldn't be able to tell what the storyline roughly will consist of. You need to give more away!! trailers are tough as you gotta be careful with what you let the audience know so ensure you have enough to show


• MAIN TARGET - get more footage, trailers are very fast paced!!! you've got very good shotsbut you need alot more as you will need to create montage sequences!! these really fast shots will only be a second long or so, but these images need to be hard hitting in order for the audience to look and want to come and watch the whole movie !!!


• 2ND MAIN TARGET - sequence your shots together, and make sure you have your soundtrack ready ASAP as that is vital, your shots have to run according to that!! and the VOICEOVER, get a script ready, know what needs to be said and record it!!!


• you also need shots of where your character is talking, like the one you got of shiv talking on the fone, you need more of him just talking to people in general!! hes your protagonist!!! you want the audience to build a sense of familiarity with him!!!
  

Otherwise keep up the good work you guys are doing, make sure all editing time is spent productively!! like i said to amit, ajit and nabil, analyse other trailers, borrow or subvert conventions from there!!! The best thing ive got to say is well done for your use of the editiing software, the effects you create are very good and you are using the software to its full effect which is excellent.

Weed and crime documentary
Faizul, Ramone, Moe

Strong points-

• As other mentors who have seen you might have told you, excellent opening !! seriously good use of music also and because you've sped up the whole strapping the zoot process you create the effect of the drug itself and thats what goes down in your evaluations to justify it and get the marks for !!!


• interviews are really good, you got differing points of view!!


• the captions you use to write things across look very good also !!!

Targets-

• The focus of your documentary is unclear!! as it is also meant to be about crime, you need to ensure that there is the element of crime in there and that the issue is addressed!!


• all documentaries look very professional with the use of relevant statistics, interviews and a hidden camera shot!! for the interview you could have a policeman possibly and ask him about crime and weed and things like that !!! possiby inside a police station you could have the interview!! hidden camera shot you could have of people smoking, commiting crimes and showing the harsh truth to it, creating the effect of realism as it is a contemporary issue!!!


• have a set of questions your going to ask your interviewees and make sure their relevant questions to your documentary!!


• possibly a vox pop sequence asking people about their views on crime or weed


• another possible suggestion for your hidden camera shot, you could show the effect of weed!! you could show something really negative such as someone getting really paranoid or freakishly laughing out of control, but that ultimately depends on what you want people to get from your documentary, and what you want them to think


• http://youtube.com/watch?v=7ifVvu06biY


• http://youtube.com/watch?v=i7vMqowaPig


• documentaries on weed, really good footage, maybe you could use?? or just borrow ideas!!!

Otherwise, excellent opening and do make sure the high standard that you've set carries on throughout the rest of your documentary as your looking at an excellent production at the moment!! keep it up!!!

Homophobia in west london
Alka, Sophia and one other person??

Firstly ive actually found out 3 people in your group :O ive neva actually seen the third person at editing ever!!! sorry if you have been, maybe its jus co-incidence i havent seen you!!

Strong points-

• if i had to sum up your documentary so far in one word, it would be 'excellent'! im honestly very impressed with the high level of work and commitment!! excellent footage, you also actually got a real gay guy adding huge amounts of credibility!!


• Very catchy opening, everything in time with the music and it looks very professional!!!


• good use of music


• strong sense of focus of what you look to achieve through your documentary!


• also the fonts in the "gay flag thing" colours you mentioned, excellent idea!! something that would bode exceptionally well in your evaluation!!

Targets-

• you need it to be exceptionally hard hits a homophobia is the kind of issue that many people cringe at!! hidden camera shot of possibly the gay guy crying??? or something hard hitting to make the audience feel the way you want them to, so like basically have a point you want to get across!!! although documentaries are informative, they discretely have a way of mediating the text in order to get their speicific point across!! such as micheal moore in bowling for columbine, showing the charlton heston scene last, that makes the audience think of him as a bit of a prat really!!!
  


• ensure your documentary is at least 6 minutes or so long, a professionals interview possibly and also statistics that are hard hitting, adds to the credibility of the text!!!

In terms of targets i cant think of anything more at the moment!! you guys are really on the right track to make something very excellent!! a really original idea also!!! plus also the level of respect towards mentors, mr babu, and the rules has been really good!! keep up all the good work!!!

Crime and drugs documentary!!
Indy, Jagtar, George and Sadoon (sorry if i got your name wrong!!)

Strong points-

• I don't really need to tell you, because i think you guys know yourself...... unbelievably good opening!! seriously brilliant!!
  


• excellent choice of music!!! and the shots of the drugs with the zooms and fast pace, excellent!! all you gotta write in your evaluation is how you intentionally created that effect in order to create the supposed effects of the drugs and thats justifying it nicely!! also the upbest music also creates a similar effect!!


• you guys work exceptionally hard, always productive 100% of the time!! even though your luck is disgustingly bad with the footage being deleted and all sorts, really good work!!


• the shot of the police van, very original and good!!! creates a real sense of realism!!

Targets-

• The main question ive gotta ask is that, is the opening all you've got so far? if your documentary lives up to the opening, you know your in for something special!!!


• the focus of your documentary!! whats it about ?? what point are you trying to get across to the audiece?? theres gotta be something the audience can take away from it and learn from it!! documentaries have to inform and educate audiences!!


• get statistics that are relevant about crime and drugs
  


• crime ?? drugs?? crime and drugs ?? which one!!! establish a clear link between the two topics if thats what you are looking to do!!!


• interviews, make sure you got a set of questions to ask! maybe even a vox pop sequence to get other people's views on drugs and crime, possibly showing their ignorance to the matter or even how society knows so much of the matter !!! interview with a policeman maybe/??


• and also you see your interview with that bitty, you could even use that as a hidden camera shot !! it'll come across as alot more hard hitting !!
  


• mainly though i think you guys need to show you have a focus point and a message to get across so that there is a clear structure to your documentary!!!
  


• possibly any stories of someone whos lost his life to drugs ??? make it hard hitting !!
  

My final point will only be praise for your group!! of all media productions ive seen from even previous years, your opening beats all!! please make sure the rest of your documentary lives up to the standards you've now set!!

Bollywood trailer!!
Latisha, Jaspreet, Aman

First point, aman ive barely seen you editing so make sure you come in, otherwise it'll be reflected in your grade and im sure you wouldn't want that!!

Strong points-

• Some really good shots of scenery and the aeroplane flying!! typical bollywood shots which is good!!


• if im right, latisha you got footage from india which adds real authenticity to your documentary so well done for that


• latisha, although you may not like some of the shots, your acting is actually pretty goood !! all of them shots should be used to create enigma and make audiences ask questions such as ... "why is she crying!!"


• alot of time spent editing is very productive, haven't actually seen you guys mess around alot so therefore well done!!


• good shots of surroundings, always effective in bollywood movies!!
  

Targets-

• In trailers, its all about the way you sequence it!! make sure you get a clear sequence, obviously it shouldn't be in order, you don't wan to give the story away completely, but enough to create enigma and make audiences want to watch the movie!!


• no offence to the guy who acted for you, but the acting just isn't believable!! audiences will catch on straight away and little things such as that don't go down well ! possibly think about re-shooting


• are you going to use a voiceover?? if yes then make sure thats ready quickly!!
  


• analyse other bollywood trailers !!! look at last years trailer "kabhi socha na tha" !!
  


• use of slow motion like when the main femlae is running, very bollywoody effect that could be used effectively !!!
  


• its a trailer so its gotta be based on a stroyline of a movie, make sure you have an idea what you want the storyline of the movie to be, that way your trailer will have a clearer structure!!!

Good amount of commitment being put in but think about getting the sequences put together and possibly re-shooting some scenes!! otherwise its coming across well, and looking like a proper bollywood trailer!!!

Bollywood trailer 2!!
Sabah, priyanka, madenah and one other person (sorry don't know your name!!!)

your idea of the bollywood trailer is unique, the whole from childhood to adulthood change!! but needs work on it to ensure that it is sequenced correctly!!!

Strong points-

• originality of the script!!!


• i was sceptical at first about the whole idea of wearing school bags and such, but after your explanation it shows you've thought the idea over nicely!!


• really good acting sabah and priyanka!! and that guy in your trailer also!!!


• the shot of sabah in the rain!! brilliant stuff !!!
  


• good use of music also !!


• the shot of that guy running looks really bollywoody romatic-fied stuff and really works well !!!
  

Targets-

• your idea of the transition from school kids to adulthood is original but you've gotta make sure its edited properly. you dont want it to look tacky!!!


• is there enough footage?? ensure you've got enough to work with!!


• structure?? storyboard?? whats the actual movie about??? do we understand the storyline through the trailer ?? these things are vital!!! trailers HAVE to create enigma for audiences to want to watch the movie itself !!!


• the split screen madenah was showing, good idea but has got to be used very carefuly!!
  


• voiceovers?? are you going to use any? if you are, then ensure you have them ready as soon as possible!!
  


• the MAIN TARGET im going to set you is to look at other bollywood trailers !! theres some conventions to trailers that have to be followed and there are certain shots you could almost re-create or subvert!! if you use things from other trailers, in your evaluations you can write how you used them, to what effect?? how you possibly subverted the idea/convention?? remember to do this and you could be looking at a very successful bollywood trailer !!!

Horror Trailer - Face of Fear
Rajan, Nafisa, Simmren

main issue at the moment is the footage !! you really do need alot more.

strong points-

• excellent footage, some quite scary scenes!!


• excellent acting rajan!!


• your shots create enigma!! the opening sequence and the heartbeat sequence are brilliant!!


• always in as a group, but productivity and efficiency?? hmmmmmmmmmm


• very good choice of music !! i would recommend you don't change it !!

Targets-

• Watch other trailers !!! texas chainsaw massacre, halloween, friday the 13th, scream !! etc. your trailer comes under the "slasher" genre and lucky for you guys, us yr13's are currently studying that genre !!! use what we know!!!


• what i realised is that, the killers face is barely ever showin in a trailer!! rajans your face is shown too much and that is a problem


• it looks like a short story, not a proper trailer !!! horror is about the victims and their feelings, and their story!! not the killer !! you need more shots of the vitcims to build a sense of familiarity with them !!!


• like shots of rajans shadow, are excellent!! create just the right amount of enigma !!


• voiceovers ??? if you're looking to use them, get them done quickly !!!


• and like theres no speech, not much from the victims and the killers speech needs to be heard without him being seen!! like in scream and how they use the phone!!


• setting? surroundings?? its all dark and in the same place!! films are not set all in one place, there needs to be shots of other places !!


• MAIN TARGET - watch other trailers and borrow conventions!! dont worry about sequencing and editing for now, your main objective should be to film alot more and really think about the shots you use!! try conceal the killers identity as thats what audiences want to go watch the movie for!!!

cumon guys seriously you need to take these comments on board!! you've got a lot of potential to make something very good, so dont ruin it now!!! get the footage done, analyse some trailers, get ideas from there !!! right now you haven't got enough to write in your evaluation so get more footage done !!!

Crime documentary
Lanzel, Harmeet, Saman, Noura (sorry if i spelt any names wrong!!)

Strong points-

• very strong opening sequence!! the font you use for when your write "crime" is very effective in the opening


• the zoom into the dead person is also very good !!! hard hitting and grips the audience!!


• good interviews with mr jones and the other guy in your group!!!


• statistics are very hard hitting, possibly make that sequence longer to grip the audience for longer !!!


• choice of music is really good also, links to the whole crime theme as it is steretypical to that genre

Targets-

• its gotta be at least 6 minutes long !!!
  


• get questions to ask people, such as "what are your views on crime?" "what is crime like in society today" "why do you feel crime rates are increasing?" (just suggestions, its up to you what you do!!!)


• whats the main focus of your documentary?? what are you trying to get across?? i think you should base it around crime in society today and how its increasing!!!


• get that hidden camera shot you want to do !!! sounds excellent!!!


• get an interview with a victim of crime !!! you could even do like a whole.... he/she is to devastated to show their face in this interview and just show a shadow even !! that would work well !! remember crime is a serious topic, its gotta be hard hitting !!!
  


• shoot alot more footage !!! relevant to the topic of crime !!!


• http://youtube.com/watch?v=6cmmog_ybl4 a crime doc !!!


• http://youtube.com/watch?v=wPDazGDAlDs a knife crime doc !!!

mainly you guys just need a focus point and a message your trying to get across !!! good work soo far well done !!

Sound of the underdogs!!
Vipesh, avneet, maninder, rosanne (sorry if i spelt anyones name wrongly!)

Strong points-

• original footage !! shots of people in the studio brings originaltiy, authenticity, and alot of realism !!!


• your interviews are focused, give across a message and the best and most meaningful interviews ive seen so far!!!
  


• great focus and a clear structure and idea!!


• you guys actually got a producer to make a beat for you!!
  


• at first the group was a bit split, now its looking very strong !!!
  

Targets-

• well you've got great amounts of footage, but you need statistics to back them up and give them credibility!!


• shots of people just singing or doing their own musical thing!!! make an interesting montage sequence out of that!! like say you have 5 singers, make all 5 of them sing the same song and integrate the scenes to create the song with many different singers!! could look excellent!! and also allows audiences to get to know the characters alot better!! builds a sense of familiarity!!


• opening sequence has got to be catchy!! make something really interesting and gripping, fast paced and linking to music!!! an upbeat track in the back also !!!


• do not use too much archive footage, make sure that most of it is your original footage!!


• my main target to you would be to construct a good opening sequence that draws the attention straight away and helps give your documentary the WOW factor !! (lol)

Music Careers Documentary:
Rupal and Karishmas group

Strong points-

• the idea of following one person in particular allows your audience to familiarise themselves with the main characters, this allows the passion shown in her music to be portrayed extremely effectively!!


• good footage of her playing instruments adds to the realism!!


• the shot of her getting shouted at by a teacher, good shot!!! shows her passion in the music!!

Targets-

• structure, make sure you have a solid structure!! so you basically know what your work is going to be about and what point you're trying to get across


• possibly interview someone in the music industry to make it alot of professional!!
  
• get statistics, something like what percentage of people actually make it into music industry!!
• if i remember correctly, you had a black and white shot!! which works very well but what effect do you want it to achieve with it?? you gotta be able to justify!!
• close up shots of the protagonists face!! shots her walking around maybe!! to create more familiarity
• focus of your documentary?? what do you want the audience to take away from this?? ensure you got an objective you want to get across !!
• interviews, make sure you ask good questions, different settings also !!
• have possibly an interview with your protagonist walking, so your following her and again lets the audience know the character better
• try that shot of her in her room, talking to a camera and shutting it off. like the one used in a "a womans world"!! makes your documentary much more personalied and emotional!

Action movie trailer
Aemud, Tremaine, Jordan

easily the closest group to actually finishing so well done on that !!

Strong points-

• Alot of work put in and time is spent efficiently and productively!!
• very good sequencing so far
• good shots used and alot of good effects used also !!!
• creating alot of enigma and i personally would actually want to watch this movie!! (if it were actually made into one off course!!)
• very good and committed acting!!
• 3 shots caught my eye the most and i thought they were brilliant!! ... 1) the shot of one of the characters kneeling down and then the moon disolving into the background!! excellent effect, alot can be said about it!! 2) the shot of jordan looking out of the house, shows a sense of hiding possibly, or even something else!! creates alot of enigma!! 3) the shot of tremaine on the bus!!!
• great opening sequence, allows audiences to get the background on the story !!!

Targets-

• your pretty much on track but theres a few things i think need improving
• this film really could be called "face off" because the story seems very obvious!! there is only really a minimal amount of use of other characters and maybe you should try fit others in
• it does seem like your giving away quite alot of the plot¬!!! and theres no scenes of characters talking between each other also!! you need to know the personal side of characters also!! genres are not fixed, like yours at the moment is fixed to action and slightly touches on romance!! but you could always incorporate a bit of comedy!!
• captions!! all trailers should have some sort of captions!! such as .."Stunning" The Independant!! little cut aways that prove useful!!
• one thing i actually dont understand is the costumes. tremaine wears casual clothing throughout, whereas jordan wears a suit!! if its intentional off course, then there is alot to talk about but you want to ensure you can justify that point!!

your group is very far ahead of most other groups and keep up the good work!!

Marital rape documentary
Yasmin, Anum, Sunainah (sorry i spelt any names wrong!!)



The main problem i got at the moment with your group is the fact that you are not putting in alot of hours at the moment and therefore almost questioning the amount of commitment you guys are putting in!!! you need to ensure that you;ll have a finished piece ready!!!

Strong points-

• original idea and therefore theres alot of scope of information for it
• good opening sequences constructed!!
• good vox pops, well constructed sequence!!!
• the shadow shot you had was very good but i remember there was a slight fault in it with the cursor of a mouse being shown!! soo try re-shoot that and that would work excellently!!

Targets-

• raise the levels of productivity!!
• what else have you got besides the opening sequence so far?? i think ive seen some interviews but you gotta make sure you got a sufficient amount of footage !!
• what is the form and function of your documentary?? whats the point your trying to get across?? that marital rape is right or wrong?? you have to discuss both sides but ultimately you also gotta be able to give across your personal point of view and therefore have a slight element of bias in it to create more meaning !!!
• possibly create a character who's life you are following to allow audiences to realise the traumatising effects things like this can have!!
• get statistics about this issue so give your documentary alot more credible!! if you got real and relevant stats to back up your points, it gives your points alot more emphasis !!!

Overall i think you guys are lacking a bit of footage at the moment!! maybe you have got sufficient footage but i have not seen your group in the editing suite as much so try get the hours in and make them productive as possible !!!

Asian Invasion
Hardeep and Asa

First point, Asa you;ve gotta get more hours in and edit something otherwise it will be reflected in your grade!!! so make sure you spend editing time productively and put as much hours as you can from now, its for your own good !!

Strong points-

• greatt opening !! loooks good everytime and really good choice of music!!!
• showing a diverse culture is very good !! as in sikhs, muslims, hindus, christians!!
• one scene where you have that girl talking and asians walking in the back!! really good shot to talk about, shows the asian invasion as something that is just normal in our areas and theres alot to talk about with that scene !!!
• the idea is reallly goood as the fact that we live in southall helps alot with it pretty much being the centre of the asian invasion!!!

Targets-

• if possible try and get footage of inside a gurdwara/mosque/church/temple!! i don't know if thats offensive though so apologies if it is!!!
• experts points of view!!
• possibly think of a protagonist!!! like you could make a white person your main character and make your documentary about the asian invasion from a white persons perspective!!!
• talk to a professional to possibly look at his views on this topic and therefore get a more professional and therefore credible point of view!!!
• use stats about how many asians there are, when they came!!!
• historical facts !!! talk about when asians were first immigrating into the country and the effects that had socially, possibly even politically and economically!!!

Overall you need to just start sequencing your footage alot more clearly and ensure that you have enough to produce a documentary that is at least 7minutes or so long!!!

ROHINI'S FEEDBACK

Sophia, Hannah and Alka
Homosexuality in London Doc...
First up, the focus and idea that you’ve chosen for your doc is really good. As far as i know homosexuality hasn’t been addressed in any previous GHS media productions so you’ve got a unique and interesting topic. Also, it’s a sensitive topic so make sure you handle it carefully, being cautious not to cause any offence to anyone.

What’s good!
- Target audience: target audience is being addressed well. The fast paced editing that corresponds to the music in the opening montage works well and appeals to your TA through its MTV style. Fast pace keeps your TA interested.
-Music- parallel music – with the word London in it links well to your doc providing continuity. Choice of music type also appeals to your TA.
-Use of conventions: montage, voxpops, overlapping scenes during interview – well done for including these so far, they’re key documentary techniques.
- General attitude of the group is excellent, with everyone working well on their individual sections.
- Group members that i’ve spoken to seem enthusiastic and have lots of ideas.


What will help...
-although everyone’s working well individually during my shifts i don’t think i’ve seen the whole group working together. Even though you’re all working on separate sections its important that you go over everything as a group. Perhaps have one or two sessions a week where your going through what each member has done and are making any changes together. This will help create better continuity.
Keep going, looks like a really good production so far!

Bollywood trailer 1: ‘Pyaar ki kahani’ Latisha, Jaspreet and Aman

From what i’ve seen so far your production is excellent. Your using typical bollywood and film trailer conventions which is what you need to meet the assessment criteria.
What’s good!
- The opening scene with the aarti is particularly impressive. It makes your trailer seem unique and draws in well with the idea of tradition and Indian culture.
- Makeup and Sarees work very well. Are colourful and comply well to Bollywood.
- Closeups – work well to aid your narrative as well as helping the audience to identify with the character. Possibly include a few more of these.
- The planning of the narrative has been done well.
- The sense of nostalgia created with the childhood picture.

What will help...
- Make sure the scenes you include are varied and not too long. Remember its a trailer and not a film. You might feel like your selling your story short but the aim of a trailer is to entice its audience, not tell them the whole story.
- Include some bollywood conventions such as ‘dancing in the rain’ for example.
- More saree/suit colour changes.
- Lip synching?
- Conversations to aid the narrative?
- Music! Try and sort it asap as it will make editing your shots easier
- Start putting in title sequences between shots .
Keep going with your ideas as its working well.

Bollywood trailer 2: ‘Kuch tho hua hai’ Sabah, Priyanka, Madina, Natasha
From what i’ve seen so far you guys have done a really really good job. The trailer is upbeat and cheerful and is easily identifiable as a bollywood trailer.

What’s good:
-The general attitude of the group is excellent. Members are committed to editing and make full use of editing time.
-You’ve got lots of extra footage which is key. Shoot extra whenever you film because its always best to have a wide range of footage to shoot from rather than to struggle to find footage good enough.
- They way the characters are introduced in the beginning is fantastic.
-Music, works well with the scenes you’ve got so far... would be good if you put in other songs also.
- The grasp of bollywood conventions is spot on.
-The use of title sequences – very professional.

What will help
- We’ve talked about this already but it will be good if you guys can reshoot some scenes.
- The running scenes which we discussed in detail during editing will work well as you’ll be making use of different shots as well as making use of a key bollywood convention.
- Include a few more sarees and change of clothes. Bollywood films need colour. Tone down the focus on western clothing in order to appear more explicitly bollywood.
- We discussed the ‘dancing in the rain scene’ – try it out.
- Again, as i said to the other bollywood trailer possibly include some lip synching or conversations.


The gaming group. Jonathon, Bhaven, Azzan

Good idea focussing on the gaming industry

What’s good!
- The use of archive footage.
- The way your title is introduced after some footage is ace. Really impressed by that. No one else has done this so well done.
- The music used ties in well with the footage
- Group effort during editing. Well done for getting in the mornings!!

What will help...

The mentors are here to help! Make use of us when we’re there otherwise your missing out.
I’ve given you guys advise already but no one seems to have carried it out even though you planned to shoot it.
Don’t fall behind with filming... shoot the scene we talked about because it will enable you to make use of a shakey hand held hidden camera. It is also a unique and investigative style technique that I’m sure will win you marks.
-Please reshoot your interviews being careful to consider mise-en- scene.
Camera positioning needs to be maintained throughout the interview guys. Having a close-up then a medium shot half way through the same interview doesn’t look professional.

I need to see more footage and editing please. Make use of the mentors!!


Action trailer: Aemud...

What’s good!
-Group effort, everyone works well together.
-You’ve already done a large amount of editing and have a lot put together.
-Quite self sufficient and don’t waste time.

What will help...
I’ve tried to approach you guys a number of times to help but you decline each time. The mentors are here to help! Make use of us when we’re there otherwise your missing out. We’re not going to take over your productions, just offer constructive advice which will better your productions.
- From what I’ve managed to glimpse while your editing I think you need to vary the shots that your using in terms of style as well as the Mise-en –scene. There isn’t much difference between various shots meaning that your trailer will begin to look mundane and repetitive.
- Start experimenting with title sequences if you haven’t already.
- Possibly include some conversation to help the narrative as at the moment it seems unclear.

A Rappers Ambition: Avi, Nabil, Amit and Ajitpal.

What’s good!
- All group members are present during editing (although not always being productive!)
- Everyone is enthusiastic about the production and there are some good ideas being brainstormed.
- Active filming: Doing extra filming on weekends, well done.


What will help...

-Nabillllll stop spending lesson time on Youtube and help out editing!!
-Music – make a decision about whether or not you’re going to make your own beat or use an existing track.
- Think about music at home in your free time so that you’re not wasting editing time.
-Possibly include some conversation to aid the narrative along
- Females? We talked about this last week... i don’t know if you’ve managed to film it yet or not but i suggest you keep it clean. You don’t want to disgust your examiner toooooo much!!
- Start piecing together the different sections


Ramones group: weed doc...

What’s good...
-Opening is the BEST. This group has set the standard with their opening and looks the best by far at the moment. Keep going with this quality of work throughout your production and you’ll definitely be in for an A.
- The wobbly effect in one section of the montage works really well. So well done for experimenting with the editing software.
-The black and white colour also looks good.
-Your getting on with it and not wasting time.
-Music – spot on.

What will help...
- What else have you got? All i’ve seen is the montage. Hopefully you’re working on the other sections of your doc as well!
- Make sure you include key documentary techniques: Interviews, voxpops, hand held cam, hidden cam etc
- Use archive footage like the news report you found.

Sound of the underdogs: Vipesh, Avneet, Maninder, Rosanne

What’s good:
-Group effort after school: most of you are there editing which is good
-Ideas in the group are always being talked about and developed
-The voxpop works really well... still i’m not too sure about having Ms Jones in their as she’s the only teacher and the rest of the people are teens. Think about your TA.
- The interviews are great, well done for getting people who are actually trying to make it in the music industry.

What will help...
- Vipesh is the only one that comes in the mornings that i’ve seen during my shifts. I suggest that atleast one other member should be there as well so that you can share decisions and its more of a group effort.
- Reshoot some footage (we’ve talked about which parts already) so that it looks slightly more professional.
- -Music (we’ll talk more about this during editing as i need to see your production again)

Feedback for Practical Productions

Sounds of the Underdogs (Vipesh's group-Documentary)

• Opening Montage- Very eye catchy, shots of graffiti and areas such as Acton, it gives us that 'urban' 'hip hop' feel, which I feel is excellent as it flows well with the theme of your production.
  
• Interviews are well constructed, they are all combined well, and are short and snappy as you have cut it down.
  
• You now need to add in titles in your interview so it is more eye catching and appealing to your audience.
  
• You might need to slightly increase your volume for your interviews, it is slightly low.
  
• Overall, it is looking good
  
• Team input is definitely needed as I only get to see Vipesh.
  

Asian Invasion (Hardeep and Asa) Documentary

• Excellent montage, you have got excellent footage (stuff from Southall, such as Mc D, quality Foods) This targets all audiences.
  
• I think what else you can do is capture stuff like Heathrow Airport, shots of London, Uxbridge, Ealing and so on in your montage.
  
• Your music is well chosen it flows in well, make sure you now add in the title of your documentary don't leave it to late.
  
• Overall it is looking really good. keep up the hard work.

Face of Fear (Simran, Nafisa and Rajan) Trailer

• This is BRILLIANT! You’re the first group that has got a lot of editing done, and it looks great.
  
• What you can now do, is look at tiny detail, such as institution and tidy up your trailer.
  
• You need to add in titles, like every other trailer has, such as produced by, directed by, when it is coming out (you know what I mean)
  
• Well done, and keep up the hard work (I hope Jova's not doing all the editing) lol

XxNaziyaXx

Lamia's Review First Week:

Bollywood Trailer: (Sabah's group)

• The begining of the trailer is really welldone and the shots used with the fast scenes really make it a good trailer, and as suggested in the last session to make the dark scene come in at the end of those loaction scenes, to make more sense.
• As i also saw that you had different shots of the dancing scenes and most of them are good, but the appropriate one needs to be chosen which really shows being real.
• The other posistive aspect about the production is the sound used which really matches within the trailer as well as the style of the writting.
• One thing to improve is the ordering of the scenes and to sort out what scene to comes before the other and make sure it follows.

Overall i think your group is doing very good and the trailer looks more professional, keep up the good work!!

Alka, Hannah, Sophia's group.

• The first time that i saw the documentary wasn't at a good standard, but later on with the adding of the effects and cutting the scenes made it look better.
• I like the way that at the begining you are really showing about what your prdouction is about, which really looks original, and the way that this is used everytime you introduce something which really tends to give the audiences a clear view about what are they going to excpect, and this what really makes it authentic as this is rarely used in documentaries.
• I suggest if you can make the voxpops shorter at the begining just like a word shown and then after words between some clips or after the voice over include the other clip which will make it much more better and look like a real documentary as this is used in most of the documentaries.
• Adding titles in between the clips and voxpops is another suggestion to make it look more as a professional Documentary as this is also another convention of documentaries.
• including voice overs between the voxpops and when the clips are shown.

It's just a game documentary:

• Looking really good and looks like a real documentary, and the way that the scenes are placed in order and that the group is really organised and knows what should go next.
• What makes the documentary looks original and real is the way that different games are included within the documentary.
• The only thing that in my opinion needs to be done is mixing the interviews from different people to make it look more authentic and we can see the different views from the people and also include real statistics about what is happening in real lives after something that is being said, for example how many people die or get affected because of the games etc... which would really make the documentary much more interesting.

Progress so far!!

ATHAR'S FEEDBACK

A Rappers Ambition:
Amit, Nabil, Ajitpal, Avi

First of all i honestly had a few doubts about the direction your production was taking, but now i think your production is looking really good.

Strong points:

• You guys got a clear idea of what you need in order to make your production successful.
• Im really liking the fact that your using current trailers of big movies (Get rich or die trying, 8 Mile) to understand the conventions of this kind of genre.
• Also every one of you turns up and makes some sort of a contribution to the group which is one factor that will really help your group do well.
• The commitment level in this group is also excellent, i rarely see you guys talking about irrelevant things!!! also keep up the positive atmosphere as its essential in order for you guys to achieve the best you can.
• You' re also probably the only group at the moment making full use of the editing software and that could really help make your production stand out.

Targets:

• The issues with the footage you need to shoot!!!
• Make sure you have more than enough footage just incase!!

Nothing else really to say besides that, keep up all the good work !!!

Horror Trailer:
Nafisa, Rajan, Simmren

At this moment in time, your trailer is looking exceptionally good!! i was really impressed with the footage you have but i still think you've got some way to go yet. However you have a really solid base to work on now and just keep up all the hard work !!

Strong points:

• Really far ahead in terms of footage and sequencing
• Always come in as a group and discuss properly
• Really good footage to work with
• The heartbeat sequence, looks really professionally done!!
• Brilliant acting rajan !!! and good choice of music also !!

Targets:

• Like i discussed with your group when Mrs Jones was there, i think you just need to view other horror trailers. Obviously don't copy them fully as you want to keep originality in your work, but instead borrow certain conventions from them!! referencing back to successful horror films will help you out alot when it comes to your evaluation!!!
• The opening scene, not as many shots needed of the trees, try something slightly different!! as theres eerie music in the back, you could even have people socialising together to show a contrast and create an enigma!!
• Much faster cuts towards the end of the trailer, just to up the pace and grip the audience.

Besides all this, your group in terms of progress is far ahead of most others and therefore you just need to keep up the hard work!! well done!!

The Gaming Documentary:
Jonathan, Bhaven.... and sorry the rest of the guys, i haven't actually seen you guys to learn your names yet !!!

Your documentary is coming along pretty good at the moment!! The idea is really original and very good as its relevant to society today !!

Strong points:

• In this group everyone is putting in alot of effort but i would single out johnathan for the additional effort he is putting in. well done for that
• Your vox pops are nice and clear and a really good sequence
• Archive footage is brilliant!!! really really good !! but possibly look to get footage from other games as well.. unless your looking to base it around a few games mainly

Targets:

• Some scenes definitely need re-shooting to make sure they fit within them specific screen boundaries
• Statistics and an interview with a professional are almost essential for a documentary. Documentaries are informative and these things are the main things that give a documentary its credibility so make sure you get them
• Also try out that montage sequence i recommended you. The one of people actually playing games. If you need a better idea of what i was trying to say then come to me anytime and i'll guide you through it. If you were to use that as an opening sequence, would look brilliant !!!
• Remember its a collaborative effort, and therefore all team members should be present when big decisions about editing need to be made

On the whole, your documentary is coming along pretty well so therefore just keep putting the hours in!!

Music Career Documentary
Vipesh's Group!!

Your group was a tad shakey for a while but i think its getting together good now.

Strong points:

• Footage gives a really authentic and realistic feel, therefore making your documentary alot more credible
• Good sense of direction in where the documentary's going and a reasonably good idea of the structure
• High amount of commitment towards this subject soo again well done !!

Targets:

• Your group has to ensure that every one has a good amount of contribution and that decisions are made together, not individually as there should not be any conflict!!
• Make sure you got a clearr structure for your work and know roughly what scenes you require
• Statistics and expert opinion, possibly if you really can, get someone famous to interview!!!

Keep up all the hard work, and well done to your group for putting in a lot of commitment!!

Music Careers Documentary:
Rupals Group:

Good start to your documentary!! Ive only seen one member of your group soo far though but hopefully everyones putting in alot of effort!!

Strong points:

• Good and most importantly, CONCISE interviews. Really good footage there to work with
• Vox pops are coming along really well, wide selection of them also!!
• Good footage of your protagonist, the storyline is coming along well!!!
• opening scene is well constructed !!

Targets:

• Make sure you have a clear storyline and know where your documentary is heading
• Ensure you understand the purpose of the documentary properly in order to be able to successfully give ur points to your target audience
• Try to film more scenes of people playing instruments as they could be used for cutaway images!! interviews can come across as a bit too long sometimes and therefore cut away images will keep the audiences interested!!

On the whole well done with your documentary and keep up the good work!!!

Drugs and Crime Documentary!!
Indy, George and Jagtar

Strong points:

• Good structure, everyone knows what the form and function of the documentary is and also how its going to pan out
• Really good and gripping opening scene !!! Really good choice of music for it
• Shots of the drugs zoom in really fast and before that the shots of the streets are slightly dizzy looking..... really goood stuff there !! almost creating the effect of the drug itself!!!

Targets:

• Just to make sure you have enough footage
• Also to ensure your purpose for the documentary is being achieved throughout
• The interview with the "bitty" adds alot of realism and thats good footage!!

Ive only seen your opening scene so far, but continue that with the rest and you;ll have a really good documentary !!! and Unlucky about your computerr... SAVE every 2 minutes !! lol

Homosexuals in London Documentary
Sophia and Alka's Group

By far the most original idea of any group and that possibly could have made it tough, but your group looks exceptionally strong.

Strong points:

• Opening sequence and the vox pops are very well done !!
• The point of view of a gay person gives your documentary a very authentic feel !!!
• Good and creative ideas of how to structure the documentary and its looking quite professional at the moment
• really good song choice !! suits the whole documentary !!

Targets:

• Interviews with professional or experts and stats to back up your argument
• Ensure you have some sort of a structure to follow

I haven't actually seen too much footage of your group, but so far its looking really good!! the opening sequence is catchy and your work is also edited very well !!

THESE ARE THE ONLY GROUPS I HAVE VIEWED SO FAR. SORRY TO THE GROUPS I HAVE NOT SEEN YET. PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT ON THIS POST TELLING ME IF I HAVE NOT SEEN YOUR GROUP!!! I LOOK FORWARD TO ALSO SEEING THE BOLLYWOOD TRAILERS AND "SILENT PAIN" SEEING AS I DONE AN INTERVIEW FOR IT!!!

KEEP UP ALL THE GOOD WORK AND FEEL FREE TO COME ASK ME FOR HELP DURING THE TIMES IM IN, OR OUTSIDE EITHER!!

ATHAR

ZAINAB

How Homophobic is west london?


Group members


Alka, Hannah & Sophia


They have a clear focus on what they want to do achieve. They've completed their vox pops, have their footage captured so it looks good so far, also looking into archive footage. helped with cutting down a vox pop so you could hear what the individual was saying, because the vox pops are usually cut too short.





Don't wanna know


Group members


Ramone, Faizal & Mo



have drug scene sorted out, very good editing, they know what they are doing, need some help with stills etc but because ramone was a media student last year he knows what hes doing, other group members are also present all together, good communication! ! !





Sound of the underdogs


Group members


Vipesh, Avneet, Rosanne, & Maninda


Have all their footage captured. Have a clear focus on structure of production, good all round knowledge, not everyone in though which may cause communicational problems. Had a slight problem with setting of when they had recorded but the group has decided to put in archive footage and do close ups therefore cuts time for them to record it again.





A rappers Ambition


Group members


Ajitpal, Amit, Avinash & Nabil


Usually all in together allows good group work, suggested they make a storyboard for a clear focus of their structure, they must do this is order to establish whether they need to film more or not. good input from all members of the group.





Pyar ki ek kahani


Group members


Concrete angel


Group members


Street crime


Group members


Crime


Group members


Face of fear


Group members



Surprisingly able to pull off the fear factor with not much available to them. they have a very concise focus on what they want to achieve clearly done their research.


Stranger


Group members


Silent Pain


Group members


Asian Invasion


Group members

Feedback for Practical Productions



Pyar ki ek kahani (trailer)

• Avoid using scenes where there is low key lighting and the rest is bright and colourful. The trailer will not flow.


• The shot of the children in the photograph, which turns to black is really good, shows that it is a flashblack.


• Try to use music which is instrumental, calm and relaxing.

Concrete Angel (opening of a film)

• Add a voiceover, script, so that the narrative flows.


• Avoid using a split screen.


• Use Long shots and not meduim shots...it seems as if it is cut off.

Alka's group

• Vox pop is EXCELLENT, you have used a variety of mixed people, such as race, gender and age. It appeals to all king of audiences.
• Your montage of the london shots are really good, try to hold the camera still, as your camera was moving quite alot.

Kuch Toh Hua Hai (2nd Bollywood trailer) Saba's group.

• It does not seem to look like a bollywood trailer, alot of work is needed.
• Try to get saba and the guy to do more love scenes, such as Saba wearing a suit/saree and in the park running around.
• You need to have the other girl (sorry I don't know her name) doing more masculine stuff, such as playing Basketball.
• Re-shoot the shot where they are having a arm wrestle use POV shots so it can build identification.
• Leave the music for now, that can come right at the end.
• Make the trailer look simple and clear for the audience (Narrative)

Amits Group (trailer)

• Your shots are looking excellent, but it's a great shame noone is putting the input.
• Try to get some daylight shots if you can, so it can go well with your footage.
• Definately use upbeat music, which is faste paste.
• I think you need to make a storyboard so you know what you are doing at all times.

XxNaziyaXx

(if you need more help on my feedback, I mentor every Monday 3.30pm -5.30, Tuesday 8-9 and 3.30-5.30)

MEDIA MENTORS

THE MEDIA MENTORS ARE AS FOLLOWS:
Nazia Ali
Rohini Bali
Lamia Hakiki
Athar Mahmood
Zainab Zakria
(Just change the post if i've spelt anyone's name wrong)

Someone will be in every morning and every afternoon to help the yr 12 media students to edit.

x x x